Hostess, not the mostess.

The Oscars are tonight!
Im not going to pretend like I dont care. I LOVE them!
Right now I'm just watching pre-shows, and I have such a beef with them, or I should say, the people they employ.
What is it with wacky hostess syndrome?
It's especially dominant on the E! Network, but everyone seems to have some sort of version of it. Jillian Barberie, Debbie Matenopolous...
E! has Catt Sadler, and the deplorable Giuliana Rancic.
They are so over the top, so tacky, and so unpolished. Its something I cant quite put a finger on, but its the equivalent of a pretty girl in a pretty dress, talking about her B.O.
They're trying to be funny, sometimes dry, but their humor is just not on point. At all. There's something about them all that just feel amateur.
It's an attempt to be out there, but not going far enough here nor there, because its not real.
I hate faux wacky more than anything. Give me a drunk and slurring Liza Minelli, or an out of her mind Sharon Stone. Real wack wins any day.
I dont need my red carpet hosts to have personality. I need them to be conduits of information.  Its as if they're trying to make it "their" show, and I just dont care.
Giuliana is on TV right now, doing a pre-pre-show. Shes got an updo, a spray tan, Chopard jewels, breasts up to her nose, and a humongous ball gown that reminds me of mint chip ice cream.
Someone needs to remind her shes not nominated.